I was not born into royalty, nor am I the son of a pauper. I enjoy this temporary existence comfortably in the guise of a lower middle class, vanilla wafer-esque man, who's childhood may accurately be defined as a lost soul seeking adventure and redemption through film, television, and more books read in a single, lazy afternoon than I care to admit. I was a shy boy growing up. I identified with few, and sought that niche of "just below the radar" social status, neither here nor there, that most kids were horrified of. I didn't come out of my shell until high school, when I ended up in a TV Production class. I thought, "Hey, I'm a fat, awkward, pale kid. I love TV. I'll take this class and breeze right through."
Wrong. My teacher had us purchase a fat, three ring binder. Wait, I can't just stuff all of these papers into my bag, or hide them in my text books? I have to organize? I grudgingly stuffed pages of television history, television vocabulary, and the mechanics of cameras/lighting into my binder... I was never good at that. The organizing aspect... or, quite frankly, the class. I barely passed. I was an awful cameraman, I couldn't figure out the lighting or audio if my life depended on it, and I was quiet and disinterested. But I liked my teacher. A lot of the students were engaging and nice. And from what I heard, the classes following Television 1 were fun. There were two options on the table: I could take a massive risk and join the studio team. They produced the morning news, sometimes live, sometimes a period or so before airing, or I could join the editing time. For those of you who know me, neither of these paths sounded too enticing. I have the technological skills of a chimp. I was 19 before I figured out what the Hell the Ctrl button did. And if I got a hold of the cameras... well, I would have established the art of Parkinson's Cam. That was in poor taste. But I can't think of any other way to describe it. And if someone sat me at a camera and told me to edit a project, I'd end up chewing on the computer. I'm like a teething puppy.
So naturally I ended up in the editing class. Woo! Okay, let's do this. They pair me off with a tall, nice enough guy. We'll call him Joe, because that was his name, and I'm sure you won't be able to figure out which Joe it is. In years past, the editing class just did commercials for the "live" show. But this year, teach had something else in mind. Something new. We were going to do a VARIETY SHOW. In a high school. Fridays only. It sounded pretty cool. Each group had to record and edit two to three minutes of entertaining, enlightening, or educational material... preferably a little bit of each category. But there was a caveat: we needed a news show. We couldn't just put on 15 minutes of kids dicking around. We needed it grounded... with three minutes of buzzkill. I raised my hand solemnly. I WILL BE THAT BUZZKILL. PASS THE TORCH. WHAT HAVE I TO LOSE?
And In the Know was born. That was my show, anyway. Well, the first few episodes were World News. But that was lame, and the teacher knew it. He suggested the brilliant new title. I remember my first episode like it was yesterday. They sat me in front of a map. The big story on August 28th, 2005 was Katrina. Sweet. Turning the buzzkill up to 11. I wrote(and continued to write) my own commentary on the story. People enjoyed my first newscast. It was informed, concise, and my delivery was superb. A few weeks passed, and Joe bailed on me. He wanted to work on the sports section. Fine, damn it. I'll make my own news! Uhh... what's this button do? OH SWEET MERCIFUL - WHERE DID ALL THIS SOFT CORE- OH, OH GOD! That didn't happen. But I struggled, that's for sure. I hit my stride before someone joined my single-manned news team: Ryan. We would alternate between reporting and editing, and got plenty of great stories out there. During this time, I gained fame(or notoriety) for my attacks on the current president and otherwise stupid people in the news. I remember I did a story on the first Thanksgiving, and someone shouted in the halls "you killed Thanksgiving!" Charming. Yes, I did. And I resolved to kill Arbor Day for him next.
Things were uneventful until FCAT time. That's when all good 10th graders(and unfortunate souls that didn't pass it in 10th) take a standardized test to determine if the teachers were doing their jobs right. Everyone loved it. And by love, I mean FUCK EVERYONE IN TALLAHASSEE EVER. Ahem. My mentor and hero, Courtney, needed to get some footage of 10th graders expounding on the basic principle of why it's important to pass the FCAT the first time around. I was feeling confident with my stage presence, and talked into the camera. "I think it's good to get the FCAT out of the way. It's just one less thing to stress about." That was what I said, more or less. The video was edited and presented before the ENTIRE 10th grade class at Freedom High, myself included. The video flashed various students, who all got cheers. Then there was my clip. A resounding "BOOOOOOOOO" filled the auditorium, and my heart sunk as low as humanly possible. It wasn't in my gut; my heart was in my lower intestines. I was devastated. I took it personally. Someone told me later everyone was booing at the white kids (DAMN YOU, REVERSE DISCRIMINATION), but it didn't matter. A room full of peers were revolted by me. My voice, my looks, whatever.
And I didn't go on again after that... for a while, anyway. Star did the news reporting and I edited. Teach kept telling me not to take it personally, and that I should rise above such things and keep reporting... that there were people who loved me in the school. I didn't want to. I half heartedly did a few episodes after that, and then the school year ended. 11th grade came around. I was still in the editing class, now a grizzled veteran of deadlines and on-screen charisma, despite my thrashing a year before. This time around, I didn't have a fellow editor or news anchor. I produced my shows, and people continued to be indifferent, with a few hardcore fans and haters tossed in for good measure. I continued to crawl out of my shell. I did my best to start conversations with people... but all they ever wanted to talk about was current events or politics. I was a God damn encyclopedia. But I made the effort, and loved my fellow editors. I brought them knowledge; they, in turn, taught me basic social skills. Because I am a caricature if nothing else, damn it.
About halfway through the year, teach came up to me and a few others with another idea: online debate program akin to The View. Well, fuck The View and those screeching beasts(and any association with them), and you have a deal, sir. The Point was born. Alyssa was our moderator, and we discussed politics, current events, sports, and celebrities. Good times were had. Few people watched it, but it was fun. We had a small audience with every taping, for the most part. By the end of the year, the entire cast was graduating, except for me. I didn't think The Point would come back. But lo and behold, we had one last hoorah my graduating year. Brought on an entire new cast, and I served as moderator, still producing In the Know. By this time, I'd walk down the halls, people shouting "hey, it's In the Know guy!" People still recognize me from it. At malls. Picnics. It's weird. At least I'm not booed. I don't even know why I wrote this all down. It was cathartic. I guess I'm just saying that things do get better. And it's never too late to find your passion or overcome social awkwardness.
Another thought. Umm, here we go. It's just... just... my name is Jake. Or Jacob. I'm not In the Know guy. The next person to address me as such is asking for it.
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