300's King Leonidas finding out why his grandfather can't remember his name
King Leonidas: What's the verdict, doctor?
Psychiatrist: I'm afraid he's suffering from dementia, King Leonidas.
King Leonidas: DAMN IT, MAN. SPEAK PLAINLY!
Psychiatrist: He's suffering from a consistent and, sadly, atrophic madness -
King Leonidas: This isn't madness.
Psychiatrist: I-what? No, dementia is-
King Leonidas: THIS. IS. SPARTA! *Kicks the psychiatrist into a convenient, endless pit*
Apollo 13's crew dealing with a baby
*Baby crying*
Jim Lovell: I... what does it want?
Fred Haise: I'm not sure, Jim. I've never dealt with anything this volatile.
Jake Swiggert: Well, we have to do something!
Jim Lovell: I know, but - whoa, what's that smell?
Fred Haise: Oh sweet merciful God.
Jake Swiggert: It's coming from the diaper. *Gags*
Jim Lovell: Gentlemen... suit up.
*Slow motion walk in full astronaut gear*
Jim Lovell: Okay... I'm going in.
Jake Swiggert: Easy... easy...
Fred Haise: *Faints*
Jim Lovell: *Opens diaper, dry heaves* Houston, we have a problem.
Jake Swiggert: ABORT! ABORT!
Top Gun's Maverick and Goose at a bar
Maverick: Are you sure, Goose? This is risky.
Goose: Hey, what are wingmen for? *Grabs his shoulder, walks towards two women, diverting the less attractive woman's attention*
Maverick: There goes the greatest wingman I ever knew. When I'm banging this smokin' 10 tonight, I'll be thinking of you, Goose. *Locks arms with the woman and leaves the bar.*
Goose: *To the ugly woman* I bet you have a lot of stories about cats or crotchet.
Ugly Woman: Well, you're in for a treat! I can talk for hours about both!
Goose: *Reaches for his sidearm*
Hey, that last one wasn't very interesting. Funny, perhaps. But that's a completely reasonable and expected situation for two young pilots.
I FAILED YOU.
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